I can relate to some of the disappointment with either the inaction, slow action, or counteraction of the Obama administration regarding sexual and gender equality. Over a year ago, then-candidate Barack Obama made a number of promises that he, now as President, has either backed down from, disregarded, or moved in the opposite direction (like on the Defense of Marriage Act). While it’s nice to have a friend in the White House, we need not forget that much of the work it will take to realize full equality in a legal, social, and cultural sense will be our own doing. Though my generation was not around for the Stonewall riots and gay liberation, and was too young to understand any of the emergence of AIDS and the mobilization for better treatment and prevention options, we have to remember the power we hold as people to create change for ourselves.
My concern is that we’ve become increasingly obsessed with making changes to laws and policies, thus depending upon politicians and fellow voters, and have forgotten about the importance of cultural change. For example, the government may recognize our marriages and families as real and equal, but the majority of the country will still view these as immoral or, at best, alternative. This is reflected in voting patterns – we lose too often to continue to cross our fingers and hope that a future Prop 8 won’t happen. (Heck, the fact that it happened in 2000 and then in 2008 in California of all places says that we need to rethink our game plan.)
I cite, for example, the removal of laws that prohibited people of different races from marrying by the 1967 Loving v. Virginia Supreme Court decision. Within the context of the law, interracial relationships were no longer treated any differently from intraracial relationships. But, in my quick skim of the 2002 General Social Survey, a nationally-representative sample of adults in the United States, I see that nearly 10% of respondents still thought that there should be a law prohibiting interracial marriage. That was in 2002! That was 35 years after the law changed! The General Social Survey’s 2006 survey revealed that 55% of their respondents for that year viewed homosexual sex as “always wrong” compared to 33% that said that it’s “not wrong at all”. What good is legal marriage equality if more than half of the country thinks that our sexual and romantic relationships are immoral and abnormal?
Often times, when keeping up with my favorite blogs, I skim over posts about kiss-ins, sit-ins, and other forms of protest for the sexual equality. But, it recently hit me that these political actions are just as important, if not more, as new bills that are introduced in congress, new decisions handed down from the courts, and new orders coming out of the White House. The most recent I came across was the formation of “A Day in Hand”, a group in the UK encouraging same-gender couples to hold hands in public. I’ve also seen a number of posts about the nation-wide kiss-in that was planned. I guess a part of me shrugged because I do not currently have a honey to hold hands with and kiss, either publicly or privately. But, I’m all for promoting others to do so. It is these forms of actions that send a reminder to the world that we exist, we’re happy, and we’re healthy. I’ve come across a number of studies that found that attitudes toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people are much more positive when they actually know such people. I know that this sort of advice comes with the potential of fear of harassment and violence, and the potential for being victimized, but we have to start somewhere. Sometimes the greatest force keeping us from being out and proud is the fear that we’ve internalized.